I spoke to a very wise man the other day.
well I tried to speak to him
he asked a simple question about whether my job was more secure
I explained that in terms of finance yes - I have a job and will be paid
in terms of what I'm doing no they still haven't decided.
all I managed to talk about was my job (which is in the IT sector)
and he stopped me and said
"Do you know that God is doing something really strange in your soul?"
"right now, right at this moment in your life?"
we talked about this - I know God is doing something strange in my soul
not sure I would have quite phrased it like that but it fits
the wise man said that I was also very tranquil about what was happening
it's strange how tranquil to the rest of the world seems like going crazy to me!
I am very aware of God doing something strange in my soul
there are moments that I can almost taste God in the air or smell God on the air
there are bits of writing that I'm falling over in the midst of writing an essay
and I can almost hear God saying - "read this,
this is what you ministry will be like
you will need to really understand about this
these are the things I want you to be known for"
there is no clear picture of a specific job, or path
but there is the fogginess of something there
just out of my reach
and there are moments where a wisp creeps to within my grasp
I've discovered that I need to grab onto each wisp and record it
don't have time right now to reflect on them
but if I don't grab it there and then its gone
there is a settling of my soul,
an much much much bigger understanding of ....
I guess it's Who God is - though that doesn't seem quite right
maybe it's "That God is" rather than Who God is.
A different wise man told me
he thought I was beginning to believe that God believed in me
that's a wisp I need to follow up
I think it's a very big wisp
another wisp is a question asked by the 1st wise man
"Do you know that God loves you?"
it isn't a question I can answer
love isn't something I can really understand because of my experiences
my answer - "God and I have an understanding
I understand as much as I can at the moment "
sometimes wonder if I'll ever really know
5 comments:
It is significant that some of what you wrote is Exactly, Exactly what I feel all the time now. Except I quit my job in the IT sector. One week left. I am absolutely at peace.
Something strange in my sou. Yes, that.
Obviously, soul, not sou.
Not so Idle Pilgrim Praise God for the work that He is doing.
Your face shone last night - like Moses coming down from the mountain - your face shone like one who has met with God, your face shone and I thank god for you.
(((((hugs)))))
Speaking to wise people is wise!
God bless
Maria in the UK
www.inhishands.co.uk
"I am very aware of God doing something strange in my soul
there are moments that I can almost taste God in the air or smell God on the air."
Sounds very much like synaesthesia, or some other disorder. Altuogh it could be God that you're perceiving, I wouldn't forget the possibility that these are symptoms. If aspects of everyday life continue to change I would recommend at least going to a doctor. You don't have to go to a psychiatrist, go to a doctor who will assess you and see if he/she refers you to a psychiatrist.
If the doctor doesn't think there's anything wrong then you can be secure in the knowledge that it really is God's actions inside you which you feel.
All the best, A. Ayer.
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